Ex- England captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the 2003 championship side and secured multiple English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the disease.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the moment," he stated.
"This doesn't mean I fail to comprehend where it's going. We understand that. But there is certainly a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, says rather he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his present welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the disease deteriorates.
"Maybe that's surprise or possibly I deal with matters differently, and once I have the facts, it's more manageable," he continued.
Early Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy was ineffective for the problem, a number of scans indicated nerves in his neurological system had been compromised by MND.
"You're presented with this medical finding of MND and we're rightly extremely affected about it, but it's so strange because I sense that everything is fine," he added.
"I don't sense sick. I don't sense poorly
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the fingers and the shoulder region.
"I remain competent to performing whatever I want. And optimistically that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Condition Progression
MND can progress swiftly.
According to the non-profit MND Association, the condition kills a one-third of people within a twelve months and above half within 24 months of detection, as eating and breathing become harder.
Treatment can only slow worsening.
"It's not me that I experience sorrow for," stated an emotional Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Effect
Talking from the family home with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by feeling when he mentioned telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was rather upsetting," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog leapt across and started licking the moisture off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody said the priority was being in the moment.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be very strongly focused on just welcoming and savoring each moment now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been really blessed that the primary determination I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much duration with the kids as possible. We won't recover those times back."
Athlete Connection
Professional athletes are excessively influenced by MND, with investigations suggesting the incidence of the illness is up to 600% elevated than in the general population.
It is thought that by limiting the oxygen available and creating injury to nerve cells, consistent, intense exercise can trigger the illness in those inherently vulnerable.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who won 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his courageous, unwavering style to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a training-ground scuffle with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a practice gear and began throwing himself into tackles.
After coming on as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the line-out in the decisive phase of play, establishing a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning drop kick.
Assistance Community
Moody has earlier told Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a few other ex- team-mates about his medical situation, but the rest will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to rely on their backing but, at the moment, just having that type of affection and acknowledgment that people are present is the crucial thing," he commented.
"Rugby is such a excellent family.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"Being able to consider your enthusiasm your career, it's one of the greatest honors.
"Achieving this for so long a time with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will wish to assist in any way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
